Going Up?

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to bring more positivity into my life.  As I've written, I know it's all about perspective and, usually, you can make it if you fake it.  I don't always believe in that, but it seems true when it comes to smiles.  "Smiling is my favorite."  If you put a smile on your face, then you're more likely to forget about what's twisting in your head.

This morning (Monday), I started my day and my week on a good note, thanks to the kindness of a stranger.  A cute stranger, I might add.  I pulled into the parking lot at the same time as another woman, though she was much closer to the building's door than I was.  She saw me get out of my car and grab my bag as she approached the entrance.  I started for the building and did a quick calculation... she was a mile away, already at the door and heading for the elevator, I presumed.  So I took my time walking, figuring I'd miss the ride up.  But as I opened the door, I noticed that the elevator was waiting.  I quickened my pace and, sure enough, she was holding the elevator door open for me.  Immediately, I thanked her and she chuckled, probably noticing the grin on my face.  As we approached my floor, I thanked her again, saying, "It's Monday morning and someone held the door for me.  THANK YOU for starting my week off right."

We all do those quick measurements... if you're ten feet from the elevator, then I'll hold the door for you.  If you're twenty feet, then I'm debating, though I'll probably hold it.  If you're thirty feet, piss off.  Grab the next one.  (As you're mashing the Close button...)

This stranger (this wonderfully, cute, blonde stranger) really outdid herself.  I was easily six or seven basketball hoops away from her, yet she held the door and greeted me with a smile.  And if I had to bet on it, I would've put fifty bucks that she would've let the door close instead.  I don't think I'm alone.  Our instincts tend to go negative.  It's a survival technique, I've read.  A person's reflexes are highly attuned for negative acts because those are the ones that are dangerous and we, therefore, need to react quickly to them.  But, man, what a downer those can be.

Last week, I was walking through the parking lot on my way back from lunch and traffic was fairly heavy as I crossed the road.  A car was rounding the curve near me and I started rolling my eyes instantly.  I thought, without a blink, "You son of a bitch... you're pulling out just to cut ahead."  I felt like a complete ass when he blocked the rest of traffic, halting those who were NOT going to stop, just to let me cross.  And he did it with a smile and a wave of his hand.  I was surprised, both at his act of kindness and my immediate condemnation of something that hadn't happened yet.  I jumped the gun.  I let myself believe that this asshole, who was possibly the nicest person I met that day, was going to run me down to get a better parking spot.

So it got me contemplating how much time I waste fabricating negative stories... stories about how my boss is going to bitch at me for not finishing a project, how a customer is only calling because they're too stupid to listen to my instructions, how someone in a meeting is going to drone on for an hour and say noooothing of interest, or even how my son is going to be bored with dad because dad doesn't know how to play right.  OR how that blonde woman is going to mash that Close button because she doesn't want to wait for a stranger on a Monday morning.

I guess by thinking the worst of people, I'm setting myself up for some nice surprises!  But it seems like I'm missing out.  Is it worth the quick surprises when I could have a constant level of pleasantry in my life by trying, simply trying, to believe that people are decent in this world?