Paint It Black

This really needed its own time and space.  I'll break from my usual babble and do something fun...

Don't dare me to do something just for the sake of being funny.  Don't dare me to do anything at all, ever.  It becomes personal and I will find a way to accomplish it.  Especially if your female.  My testosterone starts to boil, I make stupid ape noises and I have an overwhelming need to impress - even if that dare is to do something so incredibly anti-machismo, I'd lock myself in a closet once it was done.

Well, this came damn close, but I did it.  I learned quite a bit.  Actually, it says quite a bit about where I'm at personally and how few inhibitions I have left.  That tends to happen when you've spent more time in hospitals, rehabs or psych units than Scott Weiland.  Just kidding... he still has me beat.

What else did I learn?

1. I finally understand why cuticles are important to maintain.
2. The use of cotton balls or other items to separate one's toes is much more important than I ever could have realized.
3. If you are taking Lithium for Bipolar and your hands shake, even slightly, you should not be attempting what I am attempting... EVER.
4. This shit dries very, very, very quickly. Have a wet nap handy at all times.
5. There are two types of black, apparently - one with glitter and one without. Who knew?
6. If you have enormous toes, then you had better do yoga prior to painting. The sides are not easy to get.
7. Own a spotlight? USE IT...
8. Do not get frustrated and move quicker after the first foot is complete. Spread *evenly*. Polish globs and rolls around your toes when you are not looking.
9. Scratch the wet nap. Just bring a large, wet bath towel that you're willing to part with.
10. While it dries quickly, do not walk like an elephant after you're done. You will have NONE of the polish on your nails and ALL of the polish under your toes.

So, this is especially dedicated to my SMART friends.  I took it against the guitar so you could see the contrast and the shitty job I did.  Sorry about the gross feet.  But I told you I'd do it!